Anna Chapman, Russian Spy

Why in the world would we deport this spy?  Now I'm a fence sitter on this one.  I don't like spies, but have you noticed all of the fat, ugly women we have in this country?  If not, go to Walmart.
We finally have a politically astute woman who we could sentence to clean-up politics, be a celebrity and help raise funds for worthy causes.
Can you imagine the impact of Sarah Palin, Anna Chapman and Michelle Bachmann on the Tea Party movement. 
                                                                    We could clean-up the House and Senate.



Anna, there are plenty of politicians in Russia, but we need some honest ones in the U.S. who can get the crowds motivated.  Get back to the U.S. and help us, who knows, how does United States Senator Anna Chapman sound?

Which Side of the Fence?

Should women have the right to vote?

 

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! 

If a Conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.  (thanks for the note E.D.B.)


 

Arkansas Education

THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED IN ARKANSAS

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road
with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Arkansas

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000
live in Arkansas , plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

'Twiced' is a word.

People actually grow and eat okra

'Fixinto' is one word.

There is no such thing as 'lunch.'
There is only dinner and then supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you
start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

'Backwards and forwards' means I know
everything about you!

Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it
doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done
or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them..

You measure distance in hours. Like its 3 hours from Little Rock to Fort Smith.

You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to
'A/C' in the same day.

'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to
the store.'

You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.

Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football!

You carry jumper cables in your car . . .
for your OWN car.

There are only four spices: salt, pepper,
Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and
international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer,
still Summer and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time
known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good
pinto-bean weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or
pop. .. . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example:
'What kind a coke you want?'

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . .. .
if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

If you understand these jokes please forward
them to your friends from Arkansas (and those who just wish they were).

EVERYONE can't be from Arkansas .
You might say it's a gift from God!

And the most important thing we learn growing up in ARKANSAS is...

            IN GOD WE TRUST   (Dedicated to cousins Errol & Charlene and Professor Jimmy Ray & the woman who tries keeps him on the good side of life, Dr. Ann)

Is This Heaven or Arkansas

A man decided to write a book about each American State.
So he bought a train ticket and took a trip to New York. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call”.
The man, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The man thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Michigan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in New York and He asked a nearby lady what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 He Could talk to God.”O.K., thank you,” said the man.
He then traveled to Illinois, Wisconsin, Colorado, Texas and Kansas. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 Per call” sign under it.
The man, upon leaving Kansas decided to travel to Arkansas to see if the Arkies had the same phone.
He arrived in Arkansas, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “One penny per call.”
The man was surprised so he asked the locals about the sign.
“Guys, I’ve traveled all over the U.S.A. and I’ve seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, But in all the places the price was $10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?”….The men smiled and one answered,

“You’re in Arkansas now, Son – it’s a Local Call. This is God’s own country.”

You Know You're in Arkansas When...

You gotta love this Arkie.  When he go his new boat, his cousin Jimmy Ray told him to put it in as far as the trailer would go.  Being one of us Arkies, this is how he figured it out.

FOLKS, you just can't make this kind of stuff up and here's the picture to prove it.

 

And once again, these people breed...and on occasion, they vote!

Honor Our Troops & All Americans, God Bless The U. S. A.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4l3Rgq-L1M&feature=player_embedded